Men Under 35 Should Stay Single


Now don’t get your tighty whiteys in a bunch. I know you’ve probably spent the better part of your weekend Googling
“how to get a girlfriend”  or “how to get her to like me”. But I’m here to help you swallow a healthy dose of hard truth which is, you really don’t need to be worried about all that stuff. Why?


You haven’t tried enough flavors yet. That’s right I’m referring to women as consumable objects. It’ll help you digest (lol) this information better. So think about it. Here’s another analogy for those of you who remembers Pokemon, what was the slogan? “Gotta catch them all” right? Now with women, we’re not things to be “caught” but you can sure “taste” us lol. So as soon as you hit puberty and girls start becoming of interest, the realization of the variety of women at your disposal is likely to intrigue any healthy young man.


So do you really think that the hours 3p-9p between the ages of 16-25 and Saturdays and Sundays is enough time for you to explore what the world has to offer when it comes to women? Not to mention you’re splitting that time with school, work, family, studying, waiting in lines, hanging out with friends, showering, eating etc. Then from the ages 26-34 is when you’re most likely realizing that school wasn’t shit and you’re not working in your field and your pay checks are garbage so you end up just splurging it on the clubs and booze. (Which is the only proper way to deal with harsh realities of being an adult right?)

The way society has our lives setup up, men should take a slower approach when it comes to relationships because as we all know it -men mature slower than women. So with this in mind, you don’t need to rush into being in a relationship. Chances of it being successful are slim, look at your parents for example, (no shade) I’ll put money that (most) are not together. For those of you with parents who still are-kudos! But I’ll also put money that (most) have tasted other flavors while being so-called committed.


Now look, I’m not just going to end there since I haven’t really done my job yet of equipping with the proper information to succeed in life. So here’s the other reason why you don’t need to be in a relationship if you’re under the age of 35: Because of your bank account. Huh? What does your bank account have to do with you finding/getting/keeping a girlfriend? EVERYTHING! Why do you think rich men never have a problem with getting women?


Bottomline: They can afford women- you (most of you) can’t. So get your paper up. Of course with money comes a whole host of other problems you’ll have to deal with, but hey- at least you’re getting the girls right? But that’s another blog post for another day.


There you have it gent’s, my thoughts on why men under 35 shouldn’t be in a relationship. Do you agree or disagree? Why? Until next time…

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